I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
