to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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