I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We don't watch enough power rangers
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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