If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
