I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
