I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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