i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
