Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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