My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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