She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
