I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
