just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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