is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
