So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
