areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
