Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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