She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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