saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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