she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
