I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
