And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
