Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
