apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
