I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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