TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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