I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
