you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
