you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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