Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
