The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
