So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
