Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
