He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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