i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
