So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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