It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
