he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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