He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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