Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
