UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
