I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
