An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My feet surprised me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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