thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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