return my video game
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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