Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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