You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
