So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the day after is always just damage control
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
