do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
