Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
