Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
