my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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