Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
