you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
