Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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