Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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